When I began thinking of what to share about where I find God, or where God finds me, I wanted to say something uplifting or spiritually disciplined. Like “when I lay my head back, look through spring green leaves to a blue sky with shifting clouds,” or “when I quietly sit and journal,” or “when I have blueberry pancakes on a Saturday morning.” All those are definitely true ways that I find God in the wonders around me.

But my honest answer is that I most intimately experience God when I surrender. When I realize that whatever I am struggling with is beyond my power to control; when I recognize (once again!) that I am not God; and that no matter how much more I plan, work, and try to change something, I need to surrender. When I let it go into God’s hands and let myself do a trusting free fall into the safety net of Spirit, THEN I almost immediately feel relief from the pressure of trying to power myself through. I feel held in safe arms that will be with me moving forward. And I know that, in that moment, I have again found God, and have let God find me.

Do things always turn out like I hope when I surrender? No. Sometimes they do. Sometimes something wonderful, or even miraculous, happens. But sometimes things go as badly as I may have feared. Disasters happen, people are hurt, relationships end, disease destroys, loved ones die. But when I remember to surrender, I feel God holding me through it all. I am not alone with it, and I can lay aside what is too much for me until I am ready to take another step.

So today, when I am trying to power my way through, I will try to remember to surrender; to let God find me, and to relax into that embrace.

AND I will take another look at that spring sky, and maybe buy some blueberries to invite God into my consciousness right now.